Tag Archives: Body Image

#13 “You’ve Lost Weight! You Look Great!” Isn’t a Compliment – A response

“You’ve Lost Weight! You Look Great!” Isn’t a Compliment.

I have started reading some other blogs and I stumbled upon this post about why thin isn’t always good, and though it isn’t the same as my situation with weight, it is still something that I feel strongly about.

For much of my life I tried to gain weight and sat at a very unhealthy underweight number. I ate as much as I could and still couldn’t gain any weight. My father threatened me on several occasions to take me to the hospital and have them hook a feeding tube to me. (Though as an adult, I know that it wouldn’t have done anything, nor would the hospital actually have tried anything at that point.)

I was teased constantly for being skinny. My nickname in Jr. High was Toothpick, I was told “You’re so skinny, I can see right through you.” and “Sorry, I didn’t see you, you were turned sideways.” Or other such things that people thought were harmless, but actually really hurt.

I always felt tiny and incomplete. Then I would have these girls struggling to lose weight telling me to shut-up because I had the perfect body and they wanted to look like me, and I was just begging for attention, and I would feel worse. I was always insecure in my body, until I started gaining a little weight. I didn’t feel attractive until I hit 116 lbs.

I was moving apartments and saw myself in the reflection of the outside glass door and thought “Damn, I look good!” with an immediate follow up, “What the hell? I never think that.” When our scale was unpacked I was euphoric to see that I had finally put on some fat and muscle.

When I was growing up–and she is not going to agree with me, but–I thought my mother was the most beautiful woman alive. She was my mommy and I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to have her gorgeous red hair and her beautiful woman curves. I wanted to cry every time she told us (my siblings and I) that she was fat.

Oh, I argued with her. “No, you’re not fat, you’re beautiful.”, “You’re not fat, you’re mommy.” etc. etc. When she was younger she had been thin like I was… and then she had been in a motorcycle accident and broken her back, then she got pregnant. And, well, things added up and she started to gain weight when she had children.

I have never seen my mother as anything other than beautiful. I don’t see her as fat. I do worry about health problems that run in the family, but I don’t think I could ever picture my mother looking now as small as I am and still being my mom. I’m not sure that I said that how I meant it to come out… but… My mother is beautiful how she is.

Right now I am over 130 lbs. I had surgery two months ago and a few weeks ago I had a moment where I was self-conscious about my body. I had a serious moment where I asked myself “Do I look chubby in this dress.” and I wanted to slap myself. I am not chubby. I have a little bit of bloating still from the surgery, and a small amount of fat from being sedentary for such a long time (due to physical health issues). So, instead of letting those thoughts plague my mind, I went out in that dress. I danced and got complimented, and wore myself out much more than I should have done.

I slept for two days, but I don’t regret buying the dress.

My point here is that girls shouldn’t be feeling the need to starve themselves to feel “beautiful”. Secret? Today I felt very exhilarated when I looked down at myself, my left hip popped out, my body leaning over, and saw that nice little bump of woman curve bulging over. Women’s bodies are meant to have a little more to them.

There is something called “Baby fat”, not how you would normally consider it. Look at a woman’s stomach–any normal, non-anorexic, but still skinny woman (this is just to prove a point, bear with me; even as skinny as I was, I had this too). There should be a nice layer of fat right over the abs; just enough to pinch. This is supposed to be there.

Many women will use this small amount of fat to tell themselves that they are not skinny enough. Important fact: That layer of fat is there for a reason. It is there in case you get pregnant. It is there as a way to start feeding a fetus during the early stages of pregnancy. (And some claim that big butts help in the development of larger brains in later stages).

Now, if you have a fuller figure, that’s not necessarily bad. Women are born with different shapes. I have a friend who has a small bone structure and a friend with large bone structure and then I have a friend with a health disorder that makes it so that it is very hard for her to lose weight. She has several things passed on from her family, which I am not going to disclose as I have not gained her permission.

There are many reasons to have, or not have, weight. Genetics (including what you can and cannot eat), health/illness, injury, mental health, stress, the list goes on and on.

I will say this. Even though I am attracted to slightly thinner/fit women, when things ended with my ex, she was almost 200lbs and we did not separate for her weight.

Do not base all of your self-worth on your weight. You are worth so much more.

Smile and hold you head up high! Because you are you and THAT makes you beautiful.

The Resident Femme

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#11 Sexist ads are making me frustrated.

**Clicking on images will open a larger version of the image, links to known sources are at the bottom of the post**

For the past several hundred years we have been subjected to advertisements that are aimed towards a specific gender, advertisements that target an audience in a specific way, and advertisements that are downright sexist.

I don’t generally consider myself “feminist”, which is probably going to get me a little heat. I do support equal rights for all, but I honestly don’t care about some of the problems. However, I will stand up with all the other feminists when it comes to blatant “in your face” sexism.

Over the last few weeks I have watched ads pop up on Facebook, on my apps, on the sides of web pages, in emails, walking around in malls, and driving down the freeway.

“No thigh gap? The problem is real!”

“SkinnyMint, say ‘NO’ to bloating!”

“Cleaning tips for Lazy girls.”

Are we trying to take equal rights backwards? Now, the ads are not just that simple and I want to break down some simple ones here for you today.

After all the frustration of seeing these advertisements, I feel like I have taken a step backwards into a different century, I decided to do a little research.

I took five minutes—just a small segment of time that most people generally spend scrolling through their feed—and I looked for ads. In just those five minutes I found over ten things that were sexist or demeaning that were posted. Not everything I saw was ads. There were quizzes and photos and fake articles, it goes on.

At this point, I really wanted to rip my hair out. So I took a break, watched something stupid, did my laundry, took a shower, and went to bed. Today I took the next step.

I went to my local library and took several popular magazines to flip through. I also started looking up popular brands: food, clothing, hygiene, etc. I came back with a lot more than I originally imagined that I would.

First, I want to start by asking: what are advertisements teaching children?

I kept having an ad for a toy pop up on a solitaire app that I use on my tablet, “Have boys? buy hot wheels.” I have included three videos for older versions of these ads because I could not find the exact one that I saw. Still, who is to say that my niece doesn’t want to build a tower race track for her cars? She loves cars. She loves building things. So it makes sense that she would really enjoy these toys, and yet they are advertised specifically for boys. These ads make some girls feel inadequate and unable to achieve what they would like in the future.

I refuse to tell my niece that she cannot be a race car driver, mechanic, or toy car collector; however, I am now reluctant to purchase Hot Wheels products.

What advertisements teach children gets more extreme around puberty. Children, especially young girls (all girls, including trans-girls), develop an ideal body image. Seeing all the sexualization of women around them only goes to enhance these views.

15 years old

The image above advertises a wax service for girls 15 years old and younger. FIFTEEN and YOUNGER! Is it right to start sexualizing our children so young? I have heard people ask again and again why children are having sex or acting so “mature” so young. I hate to say it, but it is the fault of everything around them.

Being a lesbian, I am not a stranger to the “Nature vs Nurture” debate. Many hours spent researching different sides to different things leads to similar findings. Behaviors that have to do with racism, sexual activity, bullying… Those are all products of the environment that they are exposed to. Ads play a big part in that.

Consider this:

Insulting proactive

The above ad from Proactive insults young girls (or boys) that have acne by claiming that acne is the reason that they might not have a boyfriend. This sort of statement brings down their body image. This makes them feel terrible about themselves and they turn to other things to feel better.

I will come back to body image in a minute, but I just need to touch on something very important first: advertisements on apps. Children are a big part of the community that plays apps on phones or tablets. Many app-games are made with “sexy” characters or are advertised with “sexy” women to grab attention. Children see these ads. Don’t believe me?

One of the most common ads that I have seen for a singular app recently was for Game of War.

The commercial starts out with a woman in a large tub with women pouring water over her. She then rides out to war in armor that wouldn’t protect anything. This is a fairly adult oriented ad that is plays on youth games and that some children play.

So, body image plays a large part in the lives of both women and men. The majority of the ads I come across however, are aimed at women.

( I would like to take a moment to clarify. A healthy BMI for an adult woman is between 18.5 and 24.9. This does not take into account your bone structure. I would like for everyone to understand that every single person is built differently. I have a friend who is has a very small build; her bone structure is very small, close together, pixie like. I have another friend who has a thicker build. Her bones are set farther apart and her body is larger because of it. Smaller structures take on less weight generally than larger structures, so you should not compare yourself to other people. )

Weight 1

This first image is a spread from US Weekly. Two separate weight loss systems (Hydroxycut left, SkinnyStix right). There seems to be an obsession with weight loss, even among those that are fully in a healthy BMI range. A small amount of “pudge” and suddenly many women see themselves as fat.

I had surgery about two months ago and I gained ten pounds within four days of surgery. Now, I am not someone who would generally ever look at myself like this, but my initial reaction was “Oh shit, how am I getting fat?” I was on narcotics at the time and not thinking straight, but just having those thoughts at all scared me.

I spent a good portion of my life with body image issues, just not the ones that most young girls live with. I could not gain weight. I felt that I was too skinny, that being skinny made me ugly. I tried my hardest to gain weight. Most of my life I was under an 18 BMI and no matter what I did, I couldn’t gain weight.

I have women in my life that have lived the other side of this line. Anorexia and bulimia running their lives, making 100lb girls believe that they were fat. All because our society is struggling to “lose weight” and “burn fat” even when there isn’t really anything to lose.

We have pre-teen girls counting calories instead of having fun with their friends, and trying to find any way to be beautiful. They fall into advertising traps like the ad below.

Dove

The ad above says to women that, basically, to really be beautiful, you need to use our products. If not, you aren’t trying hard enough. Push young girls to think about beauty, push young women to think about sexy, push women to think about sex, sex, sex.

I am familiar with the expression “sex sells” but sometimes this goes too far. Carl’s Jr. has a huge selection of “sexy” ads for their food, unrealistically over-sexualizing a commercial to make it seem erotic.

“Watch as this seemingly naked woman walks through a market, that seems to only be men, and turns out to just be wearing skimpy clothing and eating a juicy burger.” Really? Carl’s Jr. doesn’t just do video commercials, they also do print ads with as much decency and respect for women.

sexlesbionic burger

“Could we be wearing less and be weighing any less while eating these burgers?”

size matters burger

Right, classy penis jokes are fantastic when it has to do with food I want in my mouth. Delicious.

Real lifeUnknown Source

Now, I don’t know who did this photo, but I added it for realism and humility. This is a more realistic view of someone who eats Carl’s Jr. like they do in the ads. In an attempt to bring things down a notch and show people part of the reason why we are really fighting obesity. I am not saying that a little weight is bad, but I am saying that sexualizing junk food is a reason that people eat so much crap.

Carl’s Jr. isn’t the only food company trying to use sex to sell their food; Mars Inc. has also joined in this debacle.

sex candy 2

I might be wrong, but I believe this is the first sexualized candy coated chocolate in history. Thanks Mars Inc. It was always important for women to be further degraded by a piece of animated candy. It gets worse.

sex candy 3

The captions around the above image read: “Best Attribute: Honey, I can’t even choose. That’s your job. Appearance: Beauty of this magnitude can’t be described in words.” This makes it seem like a female has no thought of her own and cannot make up her mind. Also note the empty thought bubble. Because this isn’t demeaning at all.*rolls eyes*

sex candy 1

Sexualization in the sexist society of ads does not stop at food, oh no. If having a sexy piece of candy wasn’t enough, how about turning a woman into a car magazine for BMW?

Sex Car

Because men only care about cars and boobs. Either that or cars are the only thing that they can think of to get them off. Either way, this is not an accurate depiction of attraction between human beings. These advertisements do not give a healthy view on what it should be like to be a woman or a man in currant day society. Women are not objects or possessions. Men are not mindless hungry beasts.

LG Flex

And then we have a phone telling us that “Same is not sexy.” This is both a good and a bad message. The bad message is basically telling us that “If you are truly sexy then you will have this product.” While the underlying message is saying to make up your own mind and stop trying to be just like everyone else. Though their intention is to gain sales, just like every other product ad ever made, this can also be one of the few positive points. Same ISN’T sexy.

I don’t want to date someone that looks just like everybody else. I don’t want to read the same damn story again and again. And I most certainly don’t want to act like everyone else. I am an individual and I deserve to be myself and treat myself with that respect. So do you.

I wish more young girls could open their minds to the idea that “Same is not sexy.” So that we would not have so many little girls trying to look like Victoria secret models.

Victoria's anorexia

Victoria’s Secret had an ad campaign going around that was called “love my body.” They had the above ad and the “Perfect body” ad circulating. Every single one of their models were skinny and fairly large breasted. Victoria’s Secret was promoting body issues in women. Girls look at these models and tell themselves: “This is beauty, I can’t be beautiful unless I look like that.” But it’s a sick lie. I am willing to bet that each of those four women are below a healthy BMI.

The woman on the far left is absolutely too skinny. I am not saying this to skinny shame. I was a small girl, but I had muscles. If you look at that woman, you can see her ribs poking out. There are no upper arm muscles and her upper legs look gaunt.

These are not healthy women. They are airbrushed, photoshopped, anorexics.

I was told in the past: “Only women’s underwear is so sexualized, men’s underwear is much simpler.” Huh.

mens plus clingy girl

Calvin Klein: Naked woman on the back of a man with an airbrushed torso. “Sex”.

mens and women slipping in

Michael Kors: Possibly naked women behind a man who has an airbrushed torso with her hand going down his boxers. “Sex”.

mens all girl

jbs: topless woman wearing men’s underwear while lifting weights; also obviously shopped. “Sex.”

Each of these advertisements featured an under clothed woman, and sometimes an under clothed man. All for men’s underwear. Googling “men’s underwear ads” you get mostly naked men that are over sexed. These advertisements are still very sexualized.

Using sex to sell products isn’t a good thing and can lead to things that are even worse. Not only are we giving girls and women a poor self-worth because of how we portray women in advertisements. We can end up with the following:

rape is OK

*Note: the above post was removed by Belvedere Vodka and a formal apology was issued, but the fact remains that it was posted at all.

This ad presents an interesting and terrible face for the company at the time that it was posted. It insinuated that the company was promoting rape. The woman in the ad above obviously is not happy with what is going on with the man. She looks like she is trying to fight him off and the ad says: “Unlike some people Belvedere always goes down smoothly.”

Well, I’ll never go down without a fight, that is for sure.

Some people argue that advertisements like the one above only serve to “put women in their place”. Well, that wasn’t the only ad that put women “in their place”.

Sketchers

The above ad puts women in a vulnerable position. Is she too weak to walk, can she not afford a cab? She doesn’t have to wear heals, but they didn’t have to pose their ad like they did. “Because sometimes, a girl’s gotta walk.” I’m not amused.

I’ll say right now, I don’t generally buy shoes for looks. If I buy heals, I can usually run in them. If I want to wear sneakers with a dress, I will damn well wear sneakers with a dress. Why would I need to buy specific shoes (and take them with me) in case of a situation like above. Also, just, what? No.

The following post isn’t actually an ad, but it follows in the footsteps of a lot of what I was talking about earlier.

must be a lady
Unknown Source

Women, men, everyone else: first, gender is not binary. Second, what one does has nothing to do with any other. Try to be the best person you can be. Eventually, maybe, people around you will learn to be their best as well and not treat others as lesser.

Weight: everyone has it, it’s not a skinny issue, just look after actual health.

Cleaning: everyone’s issue. It’s not for women, it’s not for men. It is for everybody.

There is NO such thing as “boy’s toys” and “girl’s toys”.

No one should be sexualizing children.

Acne is NOT the reason that you do or do not have a significant other.

A certain brand of soap will not make you more or less beautiful.

Carl’s Jr. is advertised by sexist pigs.

Mars inc. What is wrong with you? Stop turning your only female M&M into a sex object!

Cars aren’t really that sexy.

Neither are phones.

You don’t have to be skinny and photoshopped to love your body.

Men are not attractive to me, so I have nothing to say about their underwear honestly.

Rape is NOT okay. Don’t do it! Don’t joke about it! Don’t ignore it! Rape is bad!

Shoes don’t make a girl.

Women: you are beautiful. Know that someone loves you. And smile for yourself today.

Citations:

Belvedere Vodka
http://www.belvederevodka.com/

BMW
http://www.bmwusa.com/

Calvin Klein
http://www.calvinklein.com/shop/en/ck

Carls Jr.
http://www.carlsjr.com/

Dove
http://www.dove.us/

Game of War
http://www.gameofwarapp.com/

Hot Wheels
http://www.hotwheels.com/en-us/index.html

HydroxyCut
http://www.hydroxycut.com/

JBS
http://www.jbs.dk/en/#&panel1-1

LG
http://www.lg.com/us

Mars Inc.
http://www.mars.com/

Michael Kors
http://www.michaelkors.com/

Proactive
http://www.proactiv.com/

Skechers
http://www.skechers.com/

SkinnyMint
https://www.skinnymint.com/

SkinnyStix
http://www.zantrex3.com/

Unikwax
http://www.unikwax.com/

Victoria’s Secret
https://www.victoriassecret.com/

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#8 Silent Danger – Mental Illness Part 3

(Read part one)
(Read part two)

According to Web MD: “Suicide is not a mental illness in itself, but a serious consequence of treatable mental disorders. “

According to crisiscenter.com : “There is no typical suicide victim – It happens to young and old, sick and well, rich and poor.”

According to mentalhealth.gov:” Suicide causes immeasurable pain, suffering, and loss to individuals, families, and communities nationwide. “

According to the New York Times: “Suicide is the act of taking one’s own life on purpose.”

Every single one of these quotes is wrong in one way or another. And I am going to break them down, take them apart, and reform the truth as I see it.

First, not all mental disorders are currently treatable.  Some doctors will claim that they are, but I have seen many people crumble inside themselves from something that they cannot name, they cannot comprehend, or grasp. There are disorders that we may never understand, as a society. I am not speaking from a professional standpoint, but from a personal point of view. You can choose to disagree with me; this is just my own belief.

Second, one can claim that people are well—or look well—when they end up committing or attempting suicide. I disagree. Some part of them is not well. Some part of them has a speck of darkness eating away at them, even if they never show it. You cannot assume that they are well. None, none, NONE, of them are 100% well.

Third, there is a disgusting assumption here that suicide is an American epidemic. It isn’t. This is a worldwide issue. Not statewide, not nationwide, not just in developed countries. World. Wide. In fact, according to a map provided by The World Health Organization, the US isn’t even the worst affected by suicide in the world. (link provided in sources below)

Fourth, there are some disorders that successfully take control of one’s life. So by claiming that every single case is “the act of taking one’s own life on purpose.” is in fact ignoring the disorders that take control. I watched mental illness take reality away from someone that I loved. I watched her control slipping as everything slid away into dreams and confusion, hallucinations and fear. She swam in and out of a dream world that convinced her that it was real… and her only way into real life was to end her life in the dream, which was actually real life. She did NOT know what she was doing. She didn’t try to take her own life, she was trying to live it, she was just confused which life was real. Nothing here was on purpose. You cannot claim that when so much was beyond control.

Now, I am writing this while watching Patch Adams and thinking about Robin Williams. He struggled with depression and maybe more. Regardless of what was really going on, I refuse to believe that he had full control over his actions. Depression does crazy things to a person’s life. Robin Williams was a very strong person that brought laughter to countless people. And yet, he was so lost himself.

I’m coming onto an important point here. Suicide is selfish; absolutely, completely, irrevocably selfish. If you are considering suicide, DON’T USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO NOT REACH OUT. People care. My statement above may seem harsh. It is the truth. You not only hurt yourself; you hurt your family, your friends, people you may not have known, people that could have been in your future, your potential, etc.

I am not saying that it is easy or that it is condemnable if someone has committed suicide. Something pushed them to that point. It is important to try to be understanding, especially for those that they left behind.

My baby sister attempted suicide at 13 years old. She described it as feeling out of control and overwhelming. She took her gym shorts and used the draw string to try and hang herself in the bathroom. She is so blessed to have had an angel walk in on the attempt and save her life. My beautiful sister has struggled with depression and body image issues. This girl is amazingly gorgeous, I am so jealous of her. She has done what she can to get the help that she needs to avoid finding herself in that situation again.

The 100% wrong thing to do is what my father, his wife, and her family did to my sister. They accused her of just looking for attention, of being a “bad daughter”, of making her parents look bad, of being selfish and full of herself.

Let me first revisit my statement. “Suicide is selfish.” Yes. Suicide is selfish, the completion of it. However, it is not the person acting selfishly, not intentionally. The selfishness belongs to the suicidal thoughts that are taking over this person.

My sister wasn’t acting selfishly, she was doing the only thing she could think of to gain control of her life, though it wasn’t the correct decision, in these moments one’s mind does not process thoughts or impulses correctly. She was not doing it for attention. She was not doing it to piss off daddy. She was not doing it to hurt anyone. She was doing it to try to gain control of a teenage life spiraling out of control.

Now, many of you might not be able to understand this. If you have not lived through a life that has put you in a situation where your mind, heart, and body cannot agree and it is tearing your soul apart. If you haven’t lived through heartache and torment through most of your life; there is no way that you could possibly understand exactly what she was going through. You can be compassionate and supportive, but you will never know.

In the area I currently live in, suicide is something that is hushed, swept under the rug, and when it is not ignored, it is looked down upon and criticized. I have watched the church take suicide as an opportunity to preach sin. This is morally wrong. Instead of trying to help the family that is suffering a tremendous loss, they are pushing them farther and farther down. Their actions dig deep holes of dark depression surrounding the families and friends of those that have lost their lives to the fight against the holes in their lives.

Suicide is not a sin. Suicide is a loss. Suicide is not a copout. Suicide is a lost fight. Suicide is NOT a failure. Suicide is pain and confusion and… well…

Part of who I am is trying to understand the best in people. I try to find the part of them that could explain why they did something terrible. She stole from the store because she really needed it; he lashed out because he had a bad childhood, maybe. I cannot understand everyone; I couldn’t even comprehend trying to.

What I would like people to understand is that these families need support and compassion. Please try to stand up to the bullies that try to tear people down.

If you can stand up against those that preach the wrongness of suicide to the point of stigmatizing the family that has been brought to its knees with grief. These families have it hard enough. Give these people love. In this, I am not saying that suicide is correct; I am just saying that one should not tell a family that their lost loved one will not be accepted into heaven because mental illness took over and stole their lives. This is wrong.

I was recently made aware of a disturbing fact. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Utah had the third highest suicide rate in the country in 2013. (Succeeded only by Montana and Alaska). It is estimated that for every reported suicide there are 12 attempted suicides. In 2013 there were over 600 suicides in Utah according to the above statistics. If you include the attempted suicides the number rises to over 7000. That is over 3% of Utah population. That may seem small, but that is three attempts for every 100 people, and one attempt for every 33, does it really seem so small now?

According to the World Health Organization:

“Over 800,000 people die due to suicide every year and there are many more who attempt suicide. Hence, many millions of people are affected or experience suicide bereavement every year. Suicide occurs throughout the lifespan and was the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds globally in 2012.”

It is important to note that suicide rates can tend to be higher among minorities, including LGBTQ youth and adults.

Next, I would like to share some of the possible warning signs with you all—while also informing you that there are not always warning signs.

One of the most important signs of suicide, one that is repeated again and again in different resources, is someone who talks about committing suicide, wanting to die, or wanting to hurt themselves. Please take these threats seriously and seek immediate help for the individual. *Please note that as much as 25-50% of individuals intending to commit suicide will NOT show any signs at all. If someone you know or love either attempted or succeeded in committing suicide, know that it was NOT your fault.

Other signs may include: behaving dangerously. Such as, buying weapons, increasing self-destructive activities (drugs, alcohol, self-harm, unprotected sex, etc.). They may be sleeping way too much, or way too little, eating too much or too little. They may become withdrawn, not wanting to spend time with friends or family. They may have recently been very moody or suddenly gone from moody to extremely calm. *Note: It is more common for someone that is starting to come out of a depressive cycle to attempt suicide then it is for someone who is stuck at the bottom of depression. They may have a sudden preoccupation with death, or “putting their affairs in order” such as telling people they care about goodbye and giving away prize possessions.

There are some situations that make it more common for someone who is considering suicide (or even previously seeming to be emotionally healthy) to make an attempt on their life; especially so if they have had a previous suicide attempt. Any trauma or life crisis including, but not limited to: a death in the family, an abusive situation, a loss of health or ability to function, loss of a job or financial stability, etc.

Do not feel ashamed or nervous about talking to these people (unless you fear that they may be violent or dangerous towards you or others) talking to them can actually help their emotional situation. If you believe that the person you know could be dangerous to themselves or others please call 911 right away! You could help save lives.

I had a friend call 911 on me when we had a fight. He told them that I was attempting suicide because he was pissed at me and hoped that they would arrest me. However, the police take the threat very seriously. They will calmly talk to the person and make sure that they are okay. They are not upset about being called and will not be angry with the person that they are talking to or with the person who called. So even if you don’t know, but you suspect that they could be. Please help them.

Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (there is also an online chat option at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)

The Trevor Lifeline 866-488-7386

The Trevor Project:  http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now

Suicide help in your area: http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html

If you or someone you know are thinking about or considering suicide please reach out for help. Talk to a friend, call a hotline or dial 911 immediately.

(Read part four)

Sources I used in my post:

American Foundation for Suicide Provention
https://www.afsp.org/understanding-suicide/facts-and-figures
Crisis Center.com
http://www.crisiscenter.com/content/51/Suicide-Warning-Signs-and-Symptoms.aspx
Mental Health.Gov
http://www.mentalhealth.gov/what-to-look-for/suicidal-behavior/
The New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/suicide-and-suicidal-behavior/overview.html
Save.org
http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewpage&page_id=705f4071-99a7-f3f5-e2a64a5a8beaadd8
Suicide.org
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html
The Suicide Prevention Hotline
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
The Trevor Project
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now
Web MD
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/recognizing-suicidal-behavior?page=2
World Health Organization
http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/suicideprevent/en/
World Health Organization Map
http://gamapserver.who.int/mapLibrary/Files/Maps/Global_AS_suicide_rates_bothsexes_2012.png?ua=1

The Resident Femme

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